Compliments and Lists

NAR: It occurred to me today after receiving a particularly flattering email and then opening an old email which reminded me of a situation in which i was kinda sorta halfway proposed to that the old issue (from the LW post I can’t remember) of treating arguments as soldiers where you do 1 vs 1 at a time comes up in terms of self-worth and your impressions of what people think of you.

 

NAR: In my head when I get a compliment or criticism I look at it as a singular instance (that might possibly reveal a *Hidden Truth*) and maybe compare it only to one or two nice things people may have said about me before. What I don’t do is set up a long list of all the nice things and all the bad things people have ever said and then compare the two lists.

 

NAR: If someone calls me ugly, then I shouldn’t just look at that alone. I should compare it to all the compliments I’ve ever gotten on my appearance, the overall level of attraction strangers seem to have towards me if I smile at them, and the possible overall halo effect I might possess on the people around me.

 

Commenter 555: I used to wave off all compliments and accept a few criticisms.
 
Commenter 555: Do you think it’s worth recording?

 

NAR: yes

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